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Prem Rawat's House of Maharaji Drek
You've been on the operating table just long enough to realize that the patient is you.
(Maharaji - Prem Rawat, date unknown)
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From the Pulpit of
Reverend John Hammond-Smyth
Sermon 748
The Lord tears down the temple
And the Lord called his closest disciple unto him, his brother who was begotten of the second mother who was the holy mother and when he had assembled this brethren, he sayeth out loud in a stong voice - Verily I say unto you, O children of Prem, thy library halls are an abomination unto mine eyes!

And he sent forth his angels who were led by the brother whose name is Raja and they didst go amongst the children of prem and didst tear down their library halls where the immoral practices and video events were held. And throughout the land there was a terror that struck the hearts of the children of prem for their library temples were destroyed before their very own eyes. And I saw the curtain of the library hall rent in two and the vase containing plastic flowers was smashed unto the ground by the emissaries of the great one who's name is Margarini.

And there was fear and trepidation in the land of prem but yea, the Lord didst show compassion to his children and sayeth - O ye of little faith, have I not told you of the time that is to come, of the great event that is to dawn upon this land? For verily I say unto you, the time of phase two is at hand and ye shall see the son of man in thine own homes on pay-as-you-go satellite TV.

And the children of prem all fell upon their faces and rejoiced saying - Great is he who says he is not God but is. For he ruleth the heavens and satellite systems including cable TV. He delivereth us from QVC and CNN and showeth the way to untold riches of plastic pyramids and Maharaji watches (patent pending). Our Lord is the great giver of the holy scriptures of 'that place' and 'this life' and 'get a life' etc. And he shutteth out the ungodly ones who have not participated for the last six months. How merciful and forgiving is the Lord whose door is always open provided you've not stopped your monthy standing order from your Visa card.

And the Lord didst smile upon the children of prem for he saw that it was good (for him). And yea, I saw him taken up unto the heaven of Amaroo in the land of Oz where he sitteth upon his golf cart and reigneth for ever and ever or at least until the tax inspectors caught up with him.
Legal Disclaimer
This is a fictional work.
All characters and events portrayed are fictional.
Any similarity to real persons other than Public Persons is strictly coincidental.
Any similarity to real events is also coincidental.

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