From the Pulpit of

Reverand John Hammond-Smyth

Sermon 753

Psalm number 134 (a Psalm of David)

December 28, 2000 in the year of our lord

Rest easy, my son, for I feel a psalm coming on.

'My cup runneth over and snot doth pour from mine nose like a fountain of love. Yeah, even unto Helen Vital and the children of Prem, as a river that runneth to the sea, so mine nasal cavity hath opened and a river of green doth flow towards mine brethren.

I walked in the valley of the shadow of prem and behold, I didst practice the technique as is written by the great prophet, Anth of Gin. And I didst look up to heaven and didst taste the snot, and I knew that it was good.'

And the children of Prem didst revile me and mock me, for the Lord's nectar was upon my face and they didst say that I was unclean. And a daughter of Prem sayeth to me, - thou art disgusting before mine eyes, for thou hast snot upon thy face and are a lowly form of life.

And she dist turn her head away from me in revulsion and horror at what she saw. Yet I worried not because my cup doth indeed run over and poureth out nectar of green that covereth the lands of mine enemies.

I walk with the Lord with his snot upon my sleeve and the words of mine enemies are as cries of the creatures of the night. Verily I say unto you, for all the days of my life, even though I live without Kleenex or handkerchiefs, I will rejoice in the mucus of the Lord and will greet mine brethren with joy and snot upon my face.

Great is the Lord and wonders hath he shewn me and he that hath the mark of snot upon his face, I shall greet as mine own brother. Even unto the Assyrians and the Elkians of Vital!